So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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