Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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