so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I understand Curling. That high.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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