Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
