nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize