If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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