; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
