How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
