just tell him i said nine months
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
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I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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