He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
