I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
