i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
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