they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
