Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
50% drunk capacity currently
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Dicks are not precious.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
