I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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