So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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