I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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