I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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