"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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