I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
