you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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