Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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