I'm drive I can fine osifer
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
