the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
only if we run a train.
done.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
