my soul wont recognize me after tonight
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
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As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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