Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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