...so i touched it.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
