we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
