she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
