btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
