You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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