My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
