I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
