why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
