sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
