Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
