Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize