why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
