I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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