I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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