Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
