I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
i believe in u and ur pee
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
