I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
