soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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