Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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