If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
