I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
