don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
