if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
