pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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