i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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