I hate your face
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
