just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize