you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
