God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
