i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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