He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
