I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
