shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize
