Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Randomize
