We won't sleep together?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
