It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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