Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
